So…turns out, I’m not dead. Phew!
I’m more glad about that than you might think. I’ll tell you why a bit later. But enough with the pleasantries, how’ve you been? Sheesh, it’s been ages. I mean, like, forever.
Well, it also turns out, that forever is a long time. Who knew?
Precisely, it’s about three hundred and thirty four days.
Hello, my name is Saffi and it’s been some time since my last confession…I mean, blog.
Yeah, yeah. Shoot me now. I know.
Good, so that’s that out of the way then. We wouldn’t want a huge grey thing in the corner, would we?
Soooooo, you look different. Have you changed your hair or something? New dress? Just can’t quite put my finger on it, but you’ve definitely done something…wait, I know! Yep, you’ve turned into something completely unrecognisable! How did I not spot it before?
Need a little help?
We’re on about the game face of the publishing industry of course.
Talk about trying to trap a firefly at noon with your granddad’s favourite pants! Just can’t make that critter say still long enough to see what you’re up against. And even if you do get lucky, the darn thing is bound to wriggle its way out some hole or another. My advice? Don’t bother.
Dead-tree route? Indie? Go it alone or pay someone else to upload your books to the internet of things? Get an editor/don’t get an editor? Use KDP’s new button and make your own cover. After all, no-one judges your work by that, right? It’s all just a big boat-load of reasons not to get on with your day-job.
There are a gazillion ways to allow a reader to feast their eyes on those little letters you’ve stained a blank canvas with – and let’s face it – they’re better off there than in your muddled brain. So do it. Hell, dare I even say it, do NanoWrimo if you feel you must! Whatever it takes to shut those whining protags’ up. Do it, and do it now.
It’s what November was made for.
Ooh, speaking of November, let’s not forget about its poor relation.
Two more days.
Two more days to Halloween, Halloween. Dontcha just frickin’ love it? It’s the night when the lost souls wander the earth and it’s your job to stop them stealing your breath and slithering under your bed. Baseball bats are NOT gonna cover it. So choose your side carefully… are you with me, or against? Come on, it’s Tuesday, got to tell it as it is.
Have a fabulous Autumn and never forget: it’s not the dead that’ll hurt you, it’s the living.
Happy almost Halloween.